Thursday, March 26, 2009

Oh i have a funny drunk weekend story but i really shouldnt tell, its inapropriate but ask me when i get back and we will have a laugh am sure, anyway the point of this post is to share what albums Ive been listening to and what am reading. And Jacek Ill be sure to pick up a copy of Mr. Dohertys new album

Music
1. The Village Green Preservation Society by the Kinks

2. Years Of Refusal by Morrissey

3. Room Noises by Eisley

4. Fleet Foxes by Fleet Foxes

5.Furr by Blitzen Trapper

6.Its Not Me, Its You by Lily Allen (saw her on the tele thought i give it a chance, i like it)

7. Boxer by The National

8. The Virgins by The Virgins

Books

1. From Wild Man to Wise Man Reflectiona on Male Spirituality by Richard Rohr

2. Tortilla Flat by John Steinbeck

3. Gennese Diary by Henri Nouwen

....and of course my Bible
So hey its been a month and one and half weeks now since I’ve been away now and three and a half weeks since my last entry. It’s been raining a lot here in Holland I’ve only seen the sun a handful of times and it’s pretty depressing, but when I have seen it, that is the sun, it’s been nothing short of glorious and a reminder of how awesome God is and how badly I want Him, as well as the sun, in my life. Unfortunately my life style is contrary to that desire.

Up until a week and half, I’ve pretty much lived in a small town helping out my cousin, Elvira, with things around the house, as well as sleeping and watching TV. Living in Appingadam is nice but oh so boring and my attention span was over with the charm within the first week, still the air was clean and people are oh so friendly and don’t laugh, actually smile and ask if you need help when your fumbling on a bike. (Speaking of fumbles, the genius that I think I am, I was going down a street pretty fast, feeling all kinds of cocky, thought I could beat on coming traffic well I couldn’t and almost killed myself in the process. The truck slowed down in time and all I got was some stern disappointed looks from the driver and a old lady passerby, YIKES!!!Too close of a call for, needless to say I waked the rest of the way home.)

I finally got to hangout with my cousin Nicky the other week. We went to the pool hall and had some drinks waiting for my cousin Allen to arrive. A hour and a lot of beers later (if your wondering all I drink here is Heinekens, the Dutch love it) he didn’t but my other cousin Stevie who happens to Allen’s brother did. It was really cool getting pissed and talking, bonding, and as Stevie put it though I was separated from the family for awhile he could feel the connection and trust me when I say he was a lot more sober then I was, not to say I was a stumbling mess. Stevie, who dabbles in music, mainly hip hop, was pleased to hear I am a musician as well from Nicky who heard me play and sing earlier that evening. He then continued to invite me over his house that weekend to smoke hash and jam, I said yes, sorry folks but I am in Holland so if opportunity should arise. Allen did finally come but only stayed for a bit.

So the three of us made our ways back to the bar where Nicky proceed to buy us drink after drink of Johnny Walker Black Label Whiskey, did I mention how much I love my family. After some conversation, an inspection of my odd man glasses, having a conversation with the bar tender on where to find Puerto Rican women in New York, and asking a the young Ukrainian waitress student, who spoke no Dutch why she lives here Holland, it was about time Nicky and I , as Stevie left a little while ago, to take a taxi back home to Joyce’s house where I was staying that night . F U N , that’s what that night was but the day that followed I would soon like to F O R G E T, it pains me just to think of that pathetic day. I did manage to go downtown with Nick, I bought myself a map of western Europe and Nick bought me a pair of leather high top converse allstars, there pretty sweet.

So saying later to the familiar bustling energy of downtown Groningen I went back to quite Appingadam, where young couples go to have children and raise families.
It was Thursday night when I got back to cousin Elvira’s, and I couldn’t stop thinking about hanging out with cousin Stevie. I was nervous since this would be the first time I really got to know the guy, but you make a commitment and ya stick with it so I did. That Friday he picked me up from my aunt Elviras house (who by the way, was a bit upset I didn’t call before I came but I thought Joyce said she was going to mention it but oh well, she was upset because she didn’t expect me for dinner, I thought she did. I said I was sorry and it was settled. Plus I sang for them with my guitar and she really seemed to like it, hurayyy!) and we were on our way . Talking consisted of his job, his daughter who he sees on the weekend and music. We first stopped off at cousin Allen’s house to drop off the car.

Allen lives with his dad who has a really nice bad pad. I also got to meet Mona, Allen’s very attractive and super nice girlfriend, think Mila Kunis only(in opinion) sexier. We all had a bit of a chat and smoked some hash. I haven’t smoked hash(which is legal here) in a about 10 years but the taste was nice and the high well I like it better the weed for sure. I was happy to perform for them and they really liked it, Stevie told me I had a heart for playing music. I was happy.

So Stevie and I made our way back to his place and Allen and Mona followed shortly. But before they arrived Stevie showed me his rap skills. He told me to relax and he played the beat from his iPod. Boy ill tell you, I couldn’t understand a word but, he was really something. He had a really smooth flow and he had these really cool hooks and the heart the passion was there. It reminded me of when you play Grand Theft Auto 4 and they have those cool eastern European rappers on the radio, like that good. After a while he told me he was happy there was another musician in the family and I could agree more.

Allen and Mona soon showed up and we smoke some more and just had a nice time listen to music and playing video games, although I will say I was dead tired and the hash made it all the more, blah.

Waking up the next morning was cool, Stevie went with my aunt (his mom) Lot to go work out at the gym and I slept in smoked some more hash and made music, it was private and wonderful and couldn’t have asked for a better morning. Stevie soon came home, I showered ,then we cleaned up the house getting it ready for his 4 year old daughter.

Later he dropped me of downtown, as he went to get a hair cut and pick up his kid. I left my iPod at his place so he told me he would call me on my cell later and drop it off, which gave myself an excuse to hang out downtown.

He dropped me off my the movie theatre where I saw Watchmen ( I thought that movie was amazing and up there with The Dark Knight and Batman Begins as far as comic book movies go, the opening scene alone brought a fan boy tear down my eye.) and from there I continued to walk around searching for a good place to read my bible and contemplate God. I saw this place round about when we where driving so I went back to the sitting area in view of the wonderfully coloured flower bed of tulips and a statue of a naked man thinking, perfect place I thought as I lit a hand rolled cigarette. After that had a bit of a stroll and got to know the hood better then met up with Stevie, got my I pod back and went back to Appingadam.

So lets fast forward a bit to last week where I moved out of Cousin Elvira’s and moved into my aunt lots´ place. It nice and quite here too except that I can actually walk 10 min to downtown Groningen.

My aunt had nice thing going on here, she has her own massage business and she works out of her own home, sometimes she works for a company half an hour away. She is really into personal fitness and even goes salsa dancing twice a week.

I have my own room here too and since its quite I get a lot of reading and studying done as well as a lot of singing and guitar playing.

I feel like God is really meeting me here with the stillness and meditation and I feel truly bless. Although at times looking inward and at things about yourself that you don’t want to see is truly hard for me, but like said I feel like God is really doing a work in me so I feel well and safe.

Something else….well I went to my cousin Joyce’s boyfriend birthday party. He is a really cool guy his name is Melvin. I bought him a card, I don’t know what it said but when I got translated it read ¨if your feeling depressed….take a pill¨ and it was puppy and an actual little bag of candy pills. I don’t mind not knowing Dutch it allows me to be quite and if someone is feeling up to talking in English I go for it, but my family is really frank with there wanting me to learn Dutch….ill think about it, maybe when I get back. hehehe

So tonight I going to a cardio kick boxing class at my aunt Margret and uncle Wyatt’s gym. My uncle teaches taekwondo and my cousins Stephen and Bianca are even world champs here in Holland and Bianca in Argentina with her husband. My aunt Margret is a tiny middle age women she is so adorable. So it should be fun, I went last week man that class totally kicked my ass but heck if my lungs and my singing didn’t feel a lot better.

Other then that I talked to my dad who I havnt spoken to in like 7 yrs that was interesting. He called my aunt lot and she just gave me the phone, no questions asked. I didn’t know what to say and I could feel that I was still angry but I guess I should forgive him, but its hard think of him as my father, God fills that void rather nicely. And talking to him more via email he said he does not mind just being my friend, ill give him that.

Also you know how I told you guys I wouldn’t do my planning until I got here, well I meant it and looking now it seems like I have my work cut out for me and tight budgeting to accomplish. Man its getting really exciting, I never realizes Germany was soooo BIG. Any way Have a good night and God bless

Love Henn

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Well, it will be about two weeks now that I left New York, where the sun alway shines and there is always a freindly smile around every corner. Seriously speaking I got home sick the moment I saw the Empire State from the plane.

The plane ride was fun, I like the idea of going that fast that high in a metal can. However, since I was flying aur Lingus, everyone had thick irish accents and it made feel well out of place, the only american, correction the only New Yorker on the plane-I asked a lady at Dublin airport for help, she asked me, "What counrty are you from" and I simply said , "New York". When we landed in dublin, I was greeted with mountains and counrtyside, aswell as a brisk, refreshing Irish mornin. I could hear the clammer of people happy with excitement to be home, "it will be another year" I thought; before I could feel that swell in my chest. Although i had my rush of excitement stepping off the plane and on to solid ground with fresh air streaming through my nostrals, Dublin loved me and I loved her but our day would have to wait awhile longer as i made way to my connecting filght.

Somthing about almost missing my fight and two hours later i was in Amesterdamn going through customs and claiming my luggage soon to be greeted by my cousin Elvira, husband Marcel, and their two boys Aaron(9), Marthias(5)(cute little buggers, picture soon I hope).

The three hour drive from Amsterdamn to Groningen was somthing to be desired but it gave me and my cousins family time to catch up, listen to Raise The Wolf- courtesy of one Mr. Jay Reitz- and also to relfect on the fact that "HOLY SHIT IAM HOLLAND". Its cool sleeping for like 2hrs on a plane to wake up in another counrty. I literally felt new, reborn in a sense, with purpose to do almost anything. that was how i felt for the first week anyway, but your old "junk" is always there ready to make excuses and make you feel like less then waht your worth. And if your wondering the first week was just realxing, sleeping in and well feeling at home but a stranger to my family and myself, thats when fear seeps in, blah.

Being in this house is odd. I good percent of the time i have no idea what going on beacuse well they are all speaking in Dutch. It make one appreciate being amogst those who speak the same language, duh! Honstly I am little bit starved for good conversation.
There is a lot yelling and i think thats normal, I mean you get it all out and when i was a kid at home there was more resentment and silence, i prefer the yelling. I guess am just spoiled with the Hoffmans, they talk about there feeling and problems-weirdos-unlsess your under the age of 14 then you just slam doors saying "NO BODY LIKES ME". Seriously speaking my cousins have a wonderfull family and everyone is preety much happy and its fun eating and laughing with them.

Though at the moment the apple of my is my Cousin Joyce's daughter Djlany, she is two and just so full of life, love, and she is not afraid to share those gifts with others.

I was sleeping over my Aunt Elvira and Uncle Franz's house for the weekend when i got to see my cousin Joyce and her child. My aunt is tiny women and so very cool and stylish and reminder where i come from, she is also a space cadet of sorts, lets just say it was fun grocery shopping with her and watching her bounce for spot to spot. hehehe. she used to be a arcobics instructer but now makes her own clothes at home, she so cool. My uncle franz is a stout tuff dutchmen, he speaks in a deep yet elegent voice. He works for piping and stuff with oil, whatever. he cool. I was a bit disapointed that my cousin Nicky wasnt there, he's like a cool older brother about two yrs older, hes the one who first introduced me to the kush when i was 14, he in currently in England working his dads trade. But i was happy Joyce came home, she is 4 yrs older and so easy to talk to I love her to death, her eyes are so warm and welcoming, and she is pregnent again-planed-thanks to her boyfriend melvin a cool Indonesian dude. they have a really nice house and a car, but i dont know why they are not marriend yet, but iam sure it will happen.

Week two was preety chill too. Cousin Elvira had a hysterectomy last friday and since she came back ive been helping her while she recovers. Under Docters orders she in stay in bed and do preety much nothing. so its up to me to fetch her thing, do a bit of the grocery shopping and bring the kids to and from school, on bikes! i dont really ride at all to i was a bit reluctant, but i soilderd on and it was nice i actually like riding now.

So last but not least there is God who i feel has been so ever near me on my journey here. and thank you again to all my freinds who prayed for me wished me well and even if we didnt see each other i know you care and your thoughts are with me, you have made me feel like i could scale a mountain. But back to God. Ive been rereading the Gnesse Diary by Henry Nouwen; its about his 6 month stint at a monestery. it been really encouraging and showed me Gods Grace when i think i am failing, as Nouwen fumbles and stumbles his way through monastic living. But the central message is Prayer, and as Nouwen trys to make it the center of his "work" so must I. And He has been faithfull when i do call, so praise be to Him. I dont know if i would even had the courage to do this with out His Fatherly love and grace.

Tonight is my cousins secound birthday , i dont even know her name, my uncle Kass's has married again so iam like out of the loop, but ill see them tonight so that will be cool.
Anyway Good night boys and girls, may the good Lord watch over you all

Love
Rev Run..I mean Henn Sie

P.S thanks Jess for Albert he's nice to snuglle with when i sleep, i normally dont sleep with stuff bears i just meet but hes differnt then the others,(sorry am odd)


ALSO IF THERE ARE ANY QUESTIONS ILL BE SURE TO ANSWER THEM